Just What were they thinking!!
They went and changed my bar-b-que potato chips. New Flavor.....
It almost makes me wanna cuss. Why do companies always feel like they have to change things? I gotta tell ya, I luvs me some bar-b-que chips and then they gotta change them...didn't they learn anything from the "new Coke" fiasco.
Maybe I will switch brands. But I will remember my Lays ruffled bar-b-cue with great emotion. I think i am going to youtube and find some sad songs.....
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
What Was He Thinkin anyways?
Was old Honest Abe Lincoln Gay?
The chief evidence of Lincoln's homosexual inclination is his relationship with Joshua Speed, a handsome 22-year-old shopkeeper when the two men met in 1837. Abe, then a 28-year-old lawyer with bright prospects but poor cash flow, arrived in Springfield, Illinois, and asked about the price of bedding at Speed's general store. Learning that Lincoln was nearly broke, Speed invited him to share his bed upstairs. "The traveler inspected the bed and, looking into the merchant's sparkling blue eyes, agreed on the spot," Carol Lloyd wrote in Salon in 1999. "For the next four years the two men shared that bed along with their most private fears and desires."
That doesn't mean he was gay but my research shows that there were other beds in that house....
Oh and by the way did you know that while they were renovating Ben Franklins house in 1997 they found ten bodies buried in the basement?
Another thing ... if you look at old picture of John Kennedy you will notice that he was very skinny and sickly, but when he started running for president he all of a sudden gained about 30 pounds of muscle.... Turns out they were giving him steroids.
The chief evidence of Lincoln's homosexual inclination is his relationship with Joshua Speed, a handsome 22-year-old shopkeeper when the two men met in 1837. Abe, then a 28-year-old lawyer with bright prospects but poor cash flow, arrived in Springfield, Illinois, and asked about the price of bedding at Speed's general store. Learning that Lincoln was nearly broke, Speed invited him to share his bed upstairs. "The traveler inspected the bed and, looking into the merchant's sparkling blue eyes, agreed on the spot," Carol Lloyd wrote in Salon in 1999. "For the next four years the two men shared that bed along with their most private fears and desires."
That doesn't mean he was gay but my research shows that there were other beds in that house....
Oh and by the way did you know that while they were renovating Ben Franklins house in 1997 they found ten bodies buried in the basement?
Another thing ... if you look at old picture of John Kennedy you will notice that he was very skinny and sickly, but when he started running for president he all of a sudden gained about 30 pounds of muscle.... Turns out they were giving him steroids.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Picking your Thoughts, or an Adults Guide to Picking Your Nose
The Art Of the Pick
Just to set the record straight, we all pick our noses.
There are certain rules we should all follow. Now we are talking about picking here, not your occasional wipe. The shirt sleeve is only acceptable in certain situations for the wipe. but thats a whole nuther blog which I will get to eventually.
These are just general guidelines which I have picked up over my 54 years of nose picking.
Rules of the pick.
Keep fingers dry and clean.
If the fingers are wet, the pick become more difficult and the object of the pick will tend to not stick to the finger properly. Especially important for those of us who have mustaches.
There is nothing scarier than losing the object of a pick and not knowing where it went. Remember you are trying to not bring attention to the fact that you are a picker and fumbling the pick is serious.
You are with a group of people and the conversation is going well, when you feel the need to pick. You turn you head and make a coughing noise and raise your hand to cover your cough.
While the head is turn you quickly insert finger in nose and the object of the pick sticks to end of finger.
SUCCESS
or at least you thought you had success till you take a quick peek at you finger and there is nothing there.
Now your brain goes into full panick mode.
Is it in your mustache, is it on your shirt, did you breath out and it go flying across the room or
.......is it just hanging there?
Clean you Hands frequently.
Auto mechanics with greasy hands are the worst pickers.If you are a white guy with a black nose...well we know what you have been doing.
Pinch and roll
Depending on your nose, you may be one of those few that can do the pinch and roll.
Grasp nose at eye level, pinch and slide down. Hopefully the object of the pick will end up between the fingers. Then simply roll roll roll until it disappears.
End of Part one...please Stay tuned for further picking lessons
Just to set the record straight, we all pick our noses.
There are certain rules we should all follow. Now we are talking about picking here, not your occasional wipe. The shirt sleeve is only acceptable in certain situations for the wipe. but thats a whole nuther blog which I will get to eventually.
These are just general guidelines which I have picked up over my 54 years of nose picking.
Rules of the pick.
Keep fingers dry and clean.
If the fingers are wet, the pick become more difficult and the object of the pick will tend to not stick to the finger properly. Especially important for those of us who have mustaches.
There is nothing scarier than losing the object of a pick and not knowing where it went. Remember you are trying to not bring attention to the fact that you are a picker and fumbling the pick is serious.
You are with a group of people and the conversation is going well, when you feel the need to pick. You turn you head and make a coughing noise and raise your hand to cover your cough.
While the head is turn you quickly insert finger in nose and the object of the pick sticks to end of finger.
SUCCESS
or at least you thought you had success till you take a quick peek at you finger and there is nothing there.
Now your brain goes into full panick mode.
Is it in your mustache, is it on your shirt, did you breath out and it go flying across the room or
.......is it just hanging there?
Clean you Hands frequently.
Auto mechanics with greasy hands are the worst pickers.If you are a white guy with a black nose...well we know what you have been doing.
Pinch and roll
Depending on your nose, you may be one of those few that can do the pinch and roll.
Grasp nose at eye level, pinch and slide down. Hopefully the object of the pick will end up between the fingers. Then simply roll roll roll until it disappears.
End of Part one...please Stay tuned for further picking lessons
Sunday, November 27, 2011
What Were They Thinking
Black Friday Ha.... It should be called Battle Friday. Come to think of it maybe there should be a video game.....Battle Friday 3. I don't know what the 3 is for it just seems that all video games have a number.
The object of the game would be to arrive home safely with the gift that you selected. oh...I know.. it would have to have different levels.
Level 1. Navigate the parking lot.
Here is the beginning of the the epic battle. You must safely negotiate the parking lot and find a space close to the entrance. Once you find a space then you have to battle your way past others who are trying to get to the wally world sales extravaganza before you.
Weapons in level one are:
super sticky bubble gum,
supercharged SUV,
and the ultimate level one weapon is the handful of slippery ball bearings that you can throw to make your enemies slide right out of the parking lot.
The are obstacle to overcome in the parking lot
Obstacles are:
speeding cars..don't let them hit you, you must hit them to destroy thier chances.
Parking lot attendants...they can slow you down while your enemies run past you
oil slicks and mud puddles: beware of the yellow mud puddles
And whatever you do DON'T Wake up the Guy Sleeping in his Car, He can be very annoying.
Drop coins in the red bucket for bonus prizes.
Level 2
Wow, you made it to level two. Now you must begin shopping. Fight you way past the greeter at the entrance but dont walk past the little stand where there are hidden coupons, grab some of those and continue.
Find your gifts and battle your way to the checkout stand.
weapons in level two are:
Armored shopping cart
invisibilty cloak, only drawback is that you have to uncloak to load your shopping cart.
Cotton candy, this stuff can do some serious damage to your enemies.
Thing to beware of in level 2
The Sample lady. Try to steer clear of the pizza sample lady she will give you such bad heartburn you may have to leave the store.
Food court, the line never moves.
cart raiders...they will steal stuff outta your cart.
Survey takers, never ever talk to survey takers, they team up with cart raiders and give you migraine headaches. A trip to the pharmacy will be required to overcome the effects of the survey taker.
The cleanup on aisle thirteen is never a good thing so beware.
There are bonuses in level two
Look for the blue light specials and get there first to recieve supercharger for you shopping cart.
check all abandoned shopping carts for added value coupons.
food items can be tossed in the electronics department for added excitement
Bar-b-que Potatoe chips will give you temporary super powers, such as speed,high jump, and kung-fu super grip.
Level 3
The Checkout
Weapons are:
Golden credit card
Rainchecks of different values
Cash
ski mask and machine gun
Obstacles in level 3 are:
Super slow checkers
Gossiping checker
cart raiders
line jumpers, a few rounds from machine gun will take care of line jumpers
Bonuses are golden credit card will recieve faster service
high score will get security to escort to car.
Oh and dont forget the Bar-B-Que potatoe chips
The object of the game would be to arrive home safely with the gift that you selected. oh...I know.. it would have to have different levels.
Level 1. Navigate the parking lot.
Here is the beginning of the the epic battle. You must safely negotiate the parking lot and find a space close to the entrance. Once you find a space then you have to battle your way past others who are trying to get to the wally world sales extravaganza before you.
Weapons in level one are:
super sticky bubble gum,
supercharged SUV,
and the ultimate level one weapon is the handful of slippery ball bearings that you can throw to make your enemies slide right out of the parking lot.
The are obstacle to overcome in the parking lot
Obstacles are:
speeding cars..don't let them hit you, you must hit them to destroy thier chances.
Parking lot attendants...they can slow you down while your enemies run past you
oil slicks and mud puddles: beware of the yellow mud puddles
And whatever you do DON'T Wake up the Guy Sleeping in his Car, He can be very annoying.
Drop coins in the red bucket for bonus prizes.
Level 2
Wow, you made it to level two. Now you must begin shopping. Fight you way past the greeter at the entrance but dont walk past the little stand where there are hidden coupons, grab some of those and continue.
Find your gifts and battle your way to the checkout stand.
weapons in level two are:
Armored shopping cart
invisibilty cloak, only drawback is that you have to uncloak to load your shopping cart.
Cotton candy, this stuff can do some serious damage to your enemies.
Thing to beware of in level 2
The Sample lady. Try to steer clear of the pizza sample lady she will give you such bad heartburn you may have to leave the store.
Food court, the line never moves.
cart raiders...they will steal stuff outta your cart.
Survey takers, never ever talk to survey takers, they team up with cart raiders and give you migraine headaches. A trip to the pharmacy will be required to overcome the effects of the survey taker.
The cleanup on aisle thirteen is never a good thing so beware.
There are bonuses in level two
Look for the blue light specials and get there first to recieve supercharger for you shopping cart.
check all abandoned shopping carts for added value coupons.
food items can be tossed in the electronics department for added excitement
Bar-b-que Potatoe chips will give you temporary super powers, such as speed,high jump, and kung-fu super grip.
Level 3
The Checkout
Weapons are:
Golden credit card
Rainchecks of different values
Cash
ski mask and machine gun
Obstacles in level 3 are:
Super slow checkers
Gossiping checker
cart raiders
line jumpers, a few rounds from machine gun will take care of line jumpers
Bonuses are golden credit card will recieve faster service
high score will get security to escort to car.
Oh and dont forget the Bar-B-Que potatoe chips
Friday, November 25, 2011
Well I Thought it was Funny
The Problem with the Thanksgiving meal is that no one serves Bar-b-que Potatoe chips.
My favorite time of day is mealtime. With a large family though , mealtime is an adventure. There is always one kid who doesn't like what has been cooked and then there is another that can't sit still. There are likely to be several conversations going on at the same time.
I love it. Makes me smile. And when a little girl laughs and milk comes out her nose.....well you are never to old to laugh at that.
Okay next time you sit down for a big meal with lots of family and friends, make sure you observe everything. Mealtimes make the best memories. Oh and dont forget to blow bubbles in your milk.
My favorite time of day is mealtime. With a large family though , mealtime is an adventure. There is always one kid who doesn't like what has been cooked and then there is another that can't sit still. There are likely to be several conversations going on at the same time.
I love it. Makes me smile. And when a little girl laughs and milk comes out her nose.....well you are never to old to laugh at that.
Okay next time you sit down for a big meal with lots of family and friends, make sure you observe everything. Mealtimes make the best memories. Oh and dont forget to blow bubbles in your milk.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
An old Thought
I wrote this blog a year or two ago, but I am lazy and dont want to write another one today so you are getting a rerun.
The Banking Crisis
Why dont they ever give you enough deposit slips with your order of checks? I always run out of
deposit slips way before I run out of checks. My Bank probably thinks its funny. They planned
it that way you know.
I’m sure there was a meeting and some marketing genius said “Hey, why dont we just put 4
deposit slips on the back of every checkbook.” “That way when they run out of deposit slips
then we sell them another whole box of checks.”
The problem is , when you run out of deposit slips you have to go inside the bank. I much prefer to use the drivethru. When you go inside You have to use thier pen (which is allways out of ink) and I have this fear that when I’m inside the bank, thats when some wiseguy is going to rob the bank and hold me hostage.
The reason the wiseguy will be robbing the bank……..well he ran out of deposit slips and he just went a little nuts. Plus he had to borrow my pen to write the ransom note because the Bank’s pen was out of ink.
Then the S.W.A.T. team shows up and every one gets gassed and I get shot , and it would have all been avoided if they would just give everyone more deposit slips.
Yup I prefer the Drive-Thru.
I am 52 years old, I got that way by using the Drive-Thru. The kids wouldn’t pay the ransom anyways.
I know … they are the ones that keep saying” Just go inside the bank, Daddy”
I get the last laugh though. I’m leaving all my money to the cat. That cat never once asked me to go inside that Bank.
The Banking Crisis
Why dont they ever give you enough deposit slips with your order of checks? I always run out of
deposit slips way before I run out of checks. My Bank probably thinks its funny. They planned
it that way you know.
I’m sure there was a meeting and some marketing genius said “Hey, why dont we just put 4
deposit slips on the back of every checkbook.” “That way when they run out of deposit slips
then we sell them another whole box of checks.”
The problem is , when you run out of deposit slips you have to go inside the bank. I much prefer to use the drivethru. When you go inside You have to use thier pen (which is allways out of ink) and I have this fear that when I’m inside the bank, thats when some wiseguy is going to rob the bank and hold me hostage.
The reason the wiseguy will be robbing the bank……..well he ran out of deposit slips and he just went a little nuts. Plus he had to borrow my pen to write the ransom note because the Bank’s pen was out of ink.
Then the S.W.A.T. team shows up and every one gets gassed and I get shot , and it would have all been avoided if they would just give everyone more deposit slips.
Yup I prefer the Drive-Thru.
I am 52 years old, I got that way by using the Drive-Thru. The kids wouldn’t pay the ransom anyways.
I know … they are the ones that keep saying” Just go inside the bank, Daddy”
I get the last laugh though. I’m leaving all my money to the cat. That cat never once asked me to go inside that Bank.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
The Common Thought....
"Maybe it just me...But"
Doesn't it seem like the best steaks are served at strip joints.
Cars know when you get extra money, then they break down.
You have to step in a puddle before you realize you have a hole in your shoes.
The hot water runs out "exactly" half way through the shower.
whenever you are robbing a bank , the ski mask gets twisted and you walk into a door. Never mind , you didn't read that.
whenever you open the crayon box you can never decide what to draw, but it seemed like such a good idea a minute ago.
were rolls invented so you would have something to hold your butter while you eat it.
no one consulted a child while inventing the "child-proof" cap.
whoever invented yogurt must have been really really bored.
if you smell dog poop....check your shoes. its not this blog, i promise.
Doesn't it seem like the best steaks are served at strip joints.
Cars know when you get extra money, then they break down.
You have to step in a puddle before you realize you have a hole in your shoes.
The hot water runs out "exactly" half way through the shower.
whenever you are robbing a bank , the ski mask gets twisted and you walk into a door. Never mind , you didn't read that.
whenever you open the crayon box you can never decide what to draw, but it seemed like such a good idea a minute ago.
were rolls invented so you would have something to hold your butter while you eat it.
no one consulted a child while inventing the "child-proof" cap.
whoever invented yogurt must have been really really bored.
if you smell dog poop....check your shoes. its not this blog, i promise.
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